Being a Mom is Tough

One of my Facebook friends posted the link to an online bible study and I was so intrigued by the title that I just couldn't pass it up.  I mean, it's like someone read my mind.  Am I Messing Up My Kids?  Are you kidding me?  I probably ask myself this question on an hourly basis.

I read the first section the day my book came in the mail and I already LOVE it!  I am a compulsive reader, so it took some major self-control not to finish the whole thing.  I love how Lysa, the author, is so honest and relatable about her journey as a mother.  I am so excited to see how God uses this study to touch my life and the lives of my kids.

Speaking of my kids, here they are in all their cuteness. :)

This is the one. and. only. picture we got before Weston refused to cooperate.  Aren't toddlers great?

Weston will be 2 next week and loves his sister, his papa and nana, his daddy, playing outside, and anything with wheels...pretty much in that order.  Mommy is somewhere down the list between Lightning McQueen and peanut butter sandwiches.  This kid already gives us a run for our money. One minute he is strong-willed and defiant and the next he's crawling in my lap asking for "sugars."  I'm pretty sure he's going to be one of those kids that outsmarts his parents by age 3.  Lord, help us.  But he's also smart and hilarious and tender-hearted and the best big brother there ever was.  I could go on and on about how amazing this little boy is, but for the sake of whoever reads this, I'll stop there.

Anna Beth is almost 4 months old and loves her mommy more than anyone else on the planet...brother is a close second. She enjoys watching Wheel of Fortune and eating her fists.  She also happens to be the sweetest baby on God's green earth and has a smile that could melt Queen Elsa's ice castle.  Her mommy and daddy are already wrapped around her finger.

I am the most #imperfectmom but oh, my love for these babies is fierce.  My hope and prayer is that I can be the mother that these two precious lives deserve.  That the choices I make for them and the words I speak to them and the actions they observe from me will lead them to be kind, honest, generous, hard-working, and, most importantly, Godly adults...easier said than done.  Lord, I need Your guidance and mercy because I so desperately want to do this right for them.

Unexpected

Anna Beth - 1 day old

I would like to preface this story by pointing out that unexpected does not, in any way, shape, or form, mean unloved or unwanted.  This precious gift has been loved and wanted and cherished since we first knew she existed. 

A little backstory on our new bundle of joy...I was not prepared for her.  And still feel that way sometimes.  I was content in my role as wife and mother of one.  We were in a groove.  Everyone slept at night.  Going out as a family was getting to be less of a chore and more of something we (we being the adults) actually enjoyed.  And if you had told me a year ago that we would have two kids right now, I would have said you were insane.

Then, there I was one week after Weston's first birthday holding a positive pregnancy test that I only took so J would just quit freakin' worrying.  And the only thought I remember having is I can't do this.  I honestly did not think I had it in me.  How would I grow, and birth, and keep another tiny person alive while dealing with an energetic toddler whose needs required ALL my energy?  How would I have anything left to give another child?

Oh sure, I always planned for Weston to have at least one sibling somewhere down the road.  But it was always in the back of my mind like most of my other plans.  Like the one about writing a children's book about my family or opening a boutique that only sells socially-conscious products. What I'm trying to say is, it was fun to think about, but I didn't ever actively pursue it.  And had no plans to pursue it in the near future.

But sometimes I make plans, and I think God laughs.  Because His plan is better than mine and He knows more than I do.  And He has provided what I need to make this new crazy, wonderful, exhausting life work.  He gave me an amazing husband who truly shares the load of raising our children, a smart and independent little boy who just happens to be an awesome big brother, and a heart for my family that falls more in love with them every day.  And somehow I have enough energy to keep this whole insane household fed and clean (sort of) and happy (most of the time).  Although, at the end of most days J and I do fall into bed feeling like we've run a marathon.

So, thank You Lord for the privilege of raising these two wonderful little people.  I am so grateful.

And Anna Beth, even though you came a little sooner than I planned, I wouldn't have it any other way.  I love you so much and have so many hopes and dreams for you.  Welcome to the world sweet girl.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

Father Figure

They may not know it yet, but my kids hit the jackpot when it comes to daddies.  Seriously.  I would never survive this craziness without him.  Weston thinks he's pretty much the coolest, and Anna Beth...well, I'm sure she'll come around once I'm not her only source of food. ;)

So happy Father's Day to my one and only.  And to my own daddy, who also happens to be a contender for Greatest Dad Ever.  We are so blessed to have you both.

The following video was my cheesy Father's Day gift to J, but unless you feel like spending 3+ minutes looking at a ton of pics of us and our kids, you may not want to waste your time.  Fair warning.

Giving thanks

For the sake of my pathetic blogging record, I'm going to pretend like it hasn't been over 6 months since I wrote a decent post and just get with the program.

So, you know those really annoying Facebook posts that start with "I'm thankful for…" and after the 348th one, you're like, "If I see one more, I'm going to gouge my eyes out,"?  Yeah, well I'm about to get really annoying…but hopefully less so because a) this is not Facebook and b) I'm warning you beforehand, so that if you could care less about what I'm thankful for you can just move on with your life, no hard feelings.

But first, let me preface my list with why this is important to me.  My life has never been more busy and complicated and difficult but at the same time, I've never felt like I had more to be thankful for.  In the past year, and more specifically in the last couple of months I've learned this: life is hard.  Being a good wife, and a good mother, and a good friend, and a good teacher, and a good (fill in the blank) is hard.  But if you don't take time to stop and be grateful and appreciative for what you've been given, it's freaking impossible.  So, I've been trying to stop. breathe. and give thanks.  Not just during the month of November but everyday.  I've been given so much more than I deserve that it's hard to put into words the gratitude I feel but God knows because I tell Him daily.  And hopefully, some other people will read this and then they'll know too.

So, here goes my list.

1. I'm thankful for a God that loves and will continue to love me when I've done nothing to earn it.  No matter my past or my future, His love is constant and I couldn't be more grateful.

2. I'm thankful for a husband who loves and supports me unconditionally.  He is my rock and I know without a doubt he was put on this Earth for me.  I am amazed at how my love for him continues to grow each day.

3. I'm thankful for my children.  Both Weston and our little one on the way (more on that another time).  Being a mom has taught me more about myself and what I am capable of than I could have imagined.  Watching our little boy grow and learn has been one of the biggest blessings of my life.  I love him more than I ever thought possible.  So much so that I worry my heart isn't big enough to contain this much love for two.

4. I'm thankful for my family.  I am so blessed to have been raised by parents who put family first.  And to have been so close to all my grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins that they might as well have been parents and brothers and sisters.  These are the people who taught me about God, love, respect, hard work, good manners, and all those other important things that I see lacking in most of the students that come through my classroom.  I pray that my own kids will feel the same way about our family as I do.

5. I'm thankful for my church.  I am so glad to have found a church family that challenges me to love more, do more, give more.  I am growing so much in my faith and I know that is why God led us here. I can't wait to see what He has planned for us.

That's it for now.  But I encourage you, when you feel yourself get so busy that you don't know how you'll get it all done or so aggravated that you're ready to bite someone's head off.  Stop. Breathe. Give thanks for what is good in your life.  In my case, it always makes things better.

And since this has been all boring words and no cute pictures, here is one of our little turkey:

Weston - 12 months

Name Change

Just wanted to change things up a bit around here.  I feel like the new blog name is fitting for where I am right now and how I want to live my life and encourage my family to live theirs...by being grateful for this amazing life we've been given.

I'm also hoping it will encourage me to be a little better about keeping things updated.

More to come soon about recent goings on and an adorable little one-year-old (typing his age just made me tear up a little).

8 months

How does this keep happening?  I feel like he was just seven months old yesterday...and the day before that was six months.  And didn't we just bring him home from the hospital a couple weeks ago?  It seems no matter how hard a girl tries, time keeps a-movin'.

Now somehow we have a little one that I feel like is almost more toddler than baby.  He crawls and plays and dances to music and investigates every. little. thing.  Each day he is able to do something that he couldn't the day before.  It is pretty freakin' amazing to watch.  Even though now he has learned that crying=adult attention and uses it to full advantage...and every diaper change turns into a wrestling match.  Also, a little personality is emerging: sweet and sensitive, silly and playful.

Weston we love you so.  You are our favorite thing about waking up every morning and coming home at night.  Happy eight months precious boy!