|Anna Beth - 1 day old|
I would like to preface this story by pointing out that unexpected does not, in any way, shape, or form, mean unloved or unwanted. This precious gift has been loved and wanted and cherished since we first knew she existed.
A little backstory on our new bundle of joy...I was not prepared for her. And still feel that way sometimes. I was content in my role as wife and mother of one. We were in a groove. Everyone slept at night. Going out as a family was getting to be less of a chore and more of something we (we being the adults) actually enjoyed. And if you had told me a year ago that we would have two kids right now, I would have said you were insane.
Then, there I was one week after Weston's first birthday holding a positive pregnancy test that I only took so J would just quit freakin' worrying. And the only thought I remember having is I can't do this. I honestly did not think I had it in me. How would I grow, and birth, and keep another tiny person alive while dealing with an energetic toddler whose needs required ALL my energy? How would I have anything left to give another child?
Oh sure, I always planned for Weston to have at least one sibling somewhere down the road. But it was always in the back of my mind like most of my other plans. Like the one about writing a children's book about my family or opening a boutique that only sells socially-conscious products. What I'm trying to say is, it was fun to think about, but I didn't ever actively pursue it. And had no plans to pursue it in the near future.
But sometimes I make plans, and I think God laughs. Because His plan is better than mine and He knows more than I do. And He has provided what I need to make this new crazy, wonderful, exhausting life work. He gave me an amazing husband who truly shares the load of raising our children, a smart and independent little boy who just happens to be an awesome big brother, and a heart for my family that falls more in love with them every day. And somehow I have enough energy to keep this whole insane household fed and clean (sort of) and happy (most of the time). Although, at the end of most days J and I do fall into bed feeling like we've run a marathon.
So, thank You Lord for the privilege of raising these two wonderful little people. I am so grateful.
And Anna Beth, even though you came a little sooner than I planned, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you so much and have so many hopes and dreams for you. Welcome to the world sweet girl.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11