Thursday, February 9, 2012

Kids say the darndest things...

I had the hardest time spelling darndest in that post title.

Anywho, the preggo cat is out of the bag with my students now.  Yesterday, while reading a book at the carpet I noticed a group of girls whispering.  They know I don't like telling secrets because it hurts others feelings, so I asked them to share with the class what they were talking about. Mistake number one.

R: Well, T says that you are (holds hands out in front of stomach to illustrate).
Me: (blank stare and mind churning for a wise teacher-like response)
R: So are you? You know pregnant? (The word has the impact of an atomic bomb and by this time I'm holding everyone's attention WAY  better than Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.)
Me: Um, well, uh, uh, uh, yeeeeees.  Yes I am. (Sometimes I'm so good with words I scare myself. Mistake number two is me not anticipating this moment and coming up with some sort of well articulated response.)
Entire class:  WHAT?!  When?  Are you having a girl or boy?  Why didn't you tell us?  Is that why you went to the doctor last week? When will your belly get big? (And so on, for the next 15 minutes...thank goodness it was time to go home by then)

But, I actually told that story to tell this one.  One little girl was absent yesterday and so the others couldn't wait to tell her the news this morning.  She gets a thoughtful look on her face for a few seconds and then asks the one question I knew would come sooner or later and have dreaded for four months. 

G: Mrs. S how did you get pregnant?
Me: (Full 30 second pause as I'm frantically thinking of the best way to handle this.  I really want to say "ask your mom" then I realize that 20 pairs of eyes are turned my way, waiting, not so patiently, for an answer)  Weeeeeeeell, I just really wanted a baby so I prayed really hard for one.
Entire class:  I didn't know you could pray for a baby!  I'm gonna pray for one too!  I need to tell my mom that! etc.

Whew!  Thank God they were satisfied. 

And that, my friends, is how you dodge a bullet.

Just call me Neo. :)

1 comment:

  1. That is hilarious! I had one ask me, "So, how did it get in and how will it get out?"

    I nearl died!