Being a Mom is Tough

One of my Facebook friends posted the link to an online bible study and I was so intrigued by the title that I just couldn't pass it up.  I mean, it's like someone read my mind.  Am I Messing Up My Kids?  Are you kidding me?  I probably ask myself this question on an hourly basis.

I read the first section the day my book came in the mail and I already LOVE it!  I am a compulsive reader, so it took some major self-control not to finish the whole thing.  I love how Lysa, the author, is so honest and relatable about her journey as a mother.  I am so excited to see how God uses this study to touch my life and the lives of my kids.

Speaking of my kids, here they are in all their cuteness. :)

This is the one. and. only. picture we got before Weston refused to cooperate.  Aren't toddlers great?

Weston will be 2 next week and loves his sister, his papa and nana, his daddy, playing outside, and anything with wheels...pretty much in that order.  Mommy is somewhere down the list between Lightning McQueen and peanut butter sandwiches.  This kid already gives us a run for our money. One minute he is strong-willed and defiant and the next he's crawling in my lap asking for "sugars."  I'm pretty sure he's going to be one of those kids that outsmarts his parents by age 3.  Lord, help us.  But he's also smart and hilarious and tender-hearted and the best big brother there ever was.  I could go on and on about how amazing this little boy is, but for the sake of whoever reads this, I'll stop there.

Anna Beth is almost 4 months old and loves her mommy more than anyone else on the planet...brother is a close second. She enjoys watching Wheel of Fortune and eating her fists.  She also happens to be the sweetest baby on God's green earth and has a smile that could melt Queen Elsa's ice castle.  Her mommy and daddy are already wrapped around her finger.

I am the most #imperfectmom but oh, my love for these babies is fierce.  My hope and prayer is that I can be the mother that these two precious lives deserve.  That the choices I make for them and the words I speak to them and the actions they observe from me will lead them to be kind, honest, generous, hard-working, and, most importantly, Godly adults...easier said than done.  Lord, I need Your guidance and mercy because I so desperately want to do this right for them.

Unexpected

Anna Beth - 1 day old

I would like to preface this story by pointing out that unexpected does not, in any way, shape, or form, mean unloved or unwanted.  This precious gift has been loved and wanted and cherished since we first knew she existed. 

A little backstory on our new bundle of joy...I was not prepared for her.  And still feel that way sometimes.  I was content in my role as wife and mother of one.  We were in a groove.  Everyone slept at night.  Going out as a family was getting to be less of a chore and more of something we (we being the adults) actually enjoyed.  And if you had told me a year ago that we would have two kids right now, I would have said you were insane.

Then, there I was one week after Weston's first birthday holding a positive pregnancy test that I only took so J would just quit freakin' worrying.  And the only thought I remember having is I can't do this.  I honestly did not think I had it in me.  How would I grow, and birth, and keep another tiny person alive while dealing with an energetic toddler whose needs required ALL my energy?  How would I have anything left to give another child?

Oh sure, I always planned for Weston to have at least one sibling somewhere down the road.  But it was always in the back of my mind like most of my other plans.  Like the one about writing a children's book about my family or opening a boutique that only sells socially-conscious products. What I'm trying to say is, it was fun to think about, but I didn't ever actively pursue it.  And had no plans to pursue it in the near future.

But sometimes I make plans, and I think God laughs.  Because His plan is better than mine and He knows more than I do.  And He has provided what I need to make this new crazy, wonderful, exhausting life work.  He gave me an amazing husband who truly shares the load of raising our children, a smart and independent little boy who just happens to be an awesome big brother, and a heart for my family that falls more in love with them every day.  And somehow I have enough energy to keep this whole insane household fed and clean (sort of) and happy (most of the time).  Although, at the end of most days J and I do fall into bed feeling like we've run a marathon.

So, thank You Lord for the privilege of raising these two wonderful little people.  I am so grateful.

And Anna Beth, even though you came a little sooner than I planned, I wouldn't have it any other way.  I love you so much and have so many hopes and dreams for you.  Welcome to the world sweet girl.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

Father Figure

They may not know it yet, but my kids hit the jackpot when it comes to daddies.  Seriously.  I would never survive this craziness without him.  Weston thinks he's pretty much the coolest, and Anna Beth...well, I'm sure she'll come around once I'm not her only source of food. ;)

So happy Father's Day to my one and only.  And to my own daddy, who also happens to be a contender for Greatest Dad Ever.  We are so blessed to have you both.

The following video was my cheesy Father's Day gift to J, but unless you feel like spending 3+ minutes looking at a ton of pics of us and our kids, you may not want to waste your time.  Fair warning.

Giving thanks

For the sake of my pathetic blogging record, I'm going to pretend like it hasn't been over 6 months since I wrote a decent post and just get with the program.

So, you know those really annoying Facebook posts that start with "I'm thankful for…" and after the 348th one, you're like, "If I see one more, I'm going to gouge my eyes out,"?  Yeah, well I'm about to get really annoying…but hopefully less so because a) this is not Facebook and b) I'm warning you beforehand, so that if you could care less about what I'm thankful for you can just move on with your life, no hard feelings.

But first, let me preface my list with why this is important to me.  My life has never been more busy and complicated and difficult but at the same time, I've never felt like I had more to be thankful for.  In the past year, and more specifically in the last couple of months I've learned this: life is hard.  Being a good wife, and a good mother, and a good friend, and a good teacher, and a good (fill in the blank) is hard.  But if you don't take time to stop and be grateful and appreciative for what you've been given, it's freaking impossible.  So, I've been trying to stop. breathe. and give thanks.  Not just during the month of November but everyday.  I've been given so much more than I deserve that it's hard to put into words the gratitude I feel but God knows because I tell Him daily.  And hopefully, some other people will read this and then they'll know too.

So, here goes my list.

1. I'm thankful for a God that loves and will continue to love me when I've done nothing to earn it.  No matter my past or my future, His love is constant and I couldn't be more grateful.

2. I'm thankful for a husband who loves and supports me unconditionally.  He is my rock and I know without a doubt he was put on this Earth for me.  I am amazed at how my love for him continues to grow each day.

3. I'm thankful for my children.  Both Weston and our little one on the way (more on that another time).  Being a mom has taught me more about myself and what I am capable of than I could have imagined.  Watching our little boy grow and learn has been one of the biggest blessings of my life.  I love him more than I ever thought possible.  So much so that I worry my heart isn't big enough to contain this much love for two.

4. I'm thankful for my family.  I am so blessed to have been raised by parents who put family first.  And to have been so close to all my grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins that they might as well have been parents and brothers and sisters.  These are the people who taught me about God, love, respect, hard work, good manners, and all those other important things that I see lacking in most of the students that come through my classroom.  I pray that my own kids will feel the same way about our family as I do.

5. I'm thankful for my church.  I am so glad to have found a church family that challenges me to love more, do more, give more.  I am growing so much in my faith and I know that is why God led us here. I can't wait to see what He has planned for us.

That's it for now.  But I encourage you, when you feel yourself get so busy that you don't know how you'll get it all done or so aggravated that you're ready to bite someone's head off.  Stop. Breathe. Give thanks for what is good in your life.  In my case, it always makes things better.

And since this has been all boring words and no cute pictures, here is one of our little turkey:

Weston - 12 months

Name Change

Just wanted to change things up a bit around here.  I feel like the new blog name is fitting for where I am right now and how I want to live my life and encourage my family to live theirs...by being grateful for this amazing life we've been given.

I'm also hoping it will encourage me to be a little better about keeping things updated.

More to come soon about recent goings on and an adorable little one-year-old (typing his age just made me tear up a little).

8 months

How does this keep happening?  I feel like he was just seven months old yesterday...and the day before that was six months.  And didn't we just bring him home from the hospital a couple weeks ago?  It seems no matter how hard a girl tries, time keeps a-movin'.

Now somehow we have a little one that I feel like is almost more toddler than baby.  He crawls and plays and dances to music and investigates every. little. thing.  Each day he is able to do something that he couldn't the day before.  It is pretty freakin' amazing to watch.  Even though now he has learned that crying=adult attention and uses it to full advantage...and every diaper change turns into a wrestling match.  Also, a little personality is emerging: sweet and sensitive, silly and playful.

Weston we love you so.  You are our favorite thing about waking up every morning and coming home at night.  Happy eight months precious boy!

Month 7 and Spring Break

Doing a little catching up today before Spring Break ends and it's back to having no time for anything.  I swear I don't know how you working moms update your blogs on the regular.  Hats off to you my friends.

So, since we left off we've celebrated Valentine's Day and a 7 month birthday with our little love bug.

Happy day of love!

A 7 month old wiggle worm.

He is growing WAY too fast.  I know that's the worst of cliches and every mother in the world says it about her child, but I don't think you truly understand it until it's yours...at least I didn't.

Motherhood has been so strange in that I'm in a constant state of wanting to see what the next stage brings and at the same time wishing he would stay this little or go back to when he was a newborn and didn't try to wiggle away every time I held him.  Bittersweet: that word doesn't seem quite right but it's the only one I can think of to describe the feeling.

My two babies.

And then, there's the love.  The most painfully happy love you've ever felt in your life that makes you want to laugh and cry all at the same time.  So, that's where I am these days longing for the past, anticipating the future, but most of all loving this amazing gift of my little family.

Enough mushiness...moving on.

Wanna know one of the great things about being a teacher?  It's called Spring. Break.  And we took full advantage of a few days off.

Starting with gorgeous spring weather and a trip to the zoo...along with everyone else within a 60 mile radius of Memphis it seemed.

Always down for a stroll.

All these folks had the same idea we had.

Mmmmm....frozen lemonade.

Cutest monkey ever.

But we had fun and Weston seemed like he was watching the animals most of the time...at least that's what I told myself.  But I'm pretty sure his favorite part was the few bites of frozen lemonade I shared with him.

Then my mom and I met up with my cousin's little girl and we headed to Branson for a few days. 

Backseat buddies

I've loved this little sweetie pie since she was smaller than Weston.  Watching the two of them together makes my heart happy.  She spent the car ride talking baby talk and offering explanations for what each little coo and babble might mean.  She also makes one heck of a babysitter.

Each other's entertainment

Checkin' out the trout at the fish hatchery

Note to self:  when you travel somewhere with a 9 year old, you're inevitably subjecting yourself to only activities that a 9 year old would find acceptable.  Examples include the indoor swimming pool, miniature golf, arcade games, and the indoor swimming pool.  Also, shopping does not fall into the category of acceptable.

Since we've made it back home it's snowed 3 inches...which may not sound like anything to some but we live in Arkansas and it's the end of March. And it was 78 degrees less than a week ago.  Crazy.

Anyway, now we're spending the last few hours of our Spring Break alternating between household chores and being completely lazy.  A perfect way to end the break I'd say.

And this is what we think of going back to work:

Happy spring everyone!

Chopped

As I mentioned in my last post, I have been thinking about hacking off the mop attached to my head.  There are two main reasons for this:  

1.  The half hour or more that it takes to dry and fix in the morning.

2.  And this:

Yanking out chunks of hair is one of Weston's favorite pastimes.  Those little baby hands love to grab and pull.  I also find my hair in the most random places...wrapped around fingers and toes, in diapers, you name it.

So, here's the picture I showed my stylist.

And here is the before and after.

   

As of the first 24 hours, I'm loving it.  Although I do feel like I just took the first step in becoming a soccer mom.  Next step: minivan.

The only one sad to see the long hair go? J.  Here is how he felt.

This makes me laugh so hard.  He actually does claim to like the short hair now.  :)

Here's to cutting my morning preparation time in half (hopefully)!

* Apologies to my friend Allison for just now updating this with pics you can actually see.

6 months, a live-in nanny, and must-see TV

For the past two weekends I've had good intentions of posting on the blog and giving everyone an overdose of cute pictures of my handsome little fella.  BUT...this happened:

I found my new TV show obsession via Netflix.  It's dramatic and beautiful and romantic and if you're not watching you should.  Plus it comes on PBS and everyone knows watching PBS makes you smart I think.  I've spent the last two weekends catching up and now I'm ready for the new epidode that comes on tonight.  I can. not. wait. 

Moving on.  This little stinker is now half a year old.  Holy cow that happened fast!

If that face doesn't make you smile I don't know what will. 

I swear the past month Weston's development has exploded.  Overnight he started eating without spitting food all over the place, rolling EVERYWHERE, actually playing with toys (as opposed to just staring at them), and picking up anything he can get his hands on.  He also has a new-found love for the dog and it's the cutest thing ever.  Both bottom teeth started coming in this week, which explains some sleepless nights and fussiness we've experienced recently.  We're hoping that will end soon.  But overall, he has still been the sweetest, best-natured baby we could ever ask for.  All you have to do is look at him to get that huge grin to appear.  Sometimes I even catch him smiling when he's just sitting by himself.  So sweet.  I don't know how it's possible to love this boy any more than I do.

Here are a few other pics from around the house.

I love the cross-eyed face here.

"I love being naked!"

"I'm not too sure about this thing...but I'm still naked, so I guess it's cool."

"My new favorite thing is brushing my teeth...clearly I'm not a normal kid."

Also, my mom's been here from Colorado this week and it has been super-duper, stupendously, wonderfully awesome.  Like having-a-live-in-nanny awesome.  A week of not having to run around like a madwoman to get myself and the baby ready in the morning = heaven.  My dad is driving in tomorrow and both parents will be here for another week.  Score!

In other news, I've 99% convinced myself to chop off 10 inches of my hair.  This is huge.  I'll post some before and after pics if I don't chicken out.

Here we grow!

Well, hello blog.  It's been a spell.  Before I start updating, I wanted to share the following which is the draft of a post I started over 2 months ago:

I know, I'm getting wwwwwaaaaayyyyy behind on updating the ol' blog, but y'all, I seriously had no idea how hard this working mommy thing was.  I barely have time to take care of the basics around here like personal hygiene and laundry.  If I have to choose between blogging and having clean underwear, clean underwear wins, hands down, every time.  I'll try to do better, but no promises.  

Soooooo...yeah.  Two months later and I'm still way behind, clean underwear is still winning, and I still can't make any promises.  I think it's safe to say I won't win the blogger of the year award, but I do want to try to set aside some time for posting in the future.  Now, enough of that.  Time to give the people what they want (that being updates on the little one).

Since my last post, we've gone through three months of "birthdays."

3 months old

4 months old

Is he not just the cutest little punkin' you ever saw?  

Things he's doing now: rolling, grabbing everything he can get his hands on, trying to sit up, chewing his toes, holding his bottle, playing with toys, babbling, and showing an amazing ability to get from one place to another and leaving me wondering how in the world he got there.

Besides getting bigger and cuter, here are just a few other things Weston has been up to.

1st Halloween costume...I'm sure he'll thank me for this later.

Attempting to get him to eat solid food is simultaneously the one of the messiest, most hilarious, most frustrating things I've ever done.  He laughs, he cries, he fights for spoon-control...it's never a dull moment.

We met Santa and loved him!

This little guy really is the happiest and sweetest baby.  I don't know how we got so lucky but I thank God every day that he is ours.

We've been enjoying all our firsts as a family of three (or four if you count the dog...and we do).  And having this little guy around has made everything this year the best it's ever been.  Even though parenting is the hardest, most exhausting, scariest, most challenging thing I've ever done I can't wait to do more of it.  I can't wait to see what new milestones, challenges, and memories await in 2013.  I have a feeling it's going to be the best yet!  And we'll ignore the fact that Weston started the new year with the stomach bug...surely it can only get better. :)

Two Months



Weston at one month and two months...we are losing hair and gaining fat rolls and pinchable cheeks.

 Holy moly!  How can a baby change so much in just one short month?!  And how can I already love something so much?

Weston, you are, without a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to me.  I feel like in the last few weeks I've finally become the person I was meant to be...all because of you.  I don't know how else to describe it other than to say that being your mom makes me want to be the best of who I am.  Everyday with you brings me the greatest joy. 

You are such a happy baby and you love to smile and laugh...my favorite sound.  You are getting good at lifting your head up but you still prefer to exercise those legs during tummy time.  Lately you've been staring at your hands and feet and figuring out they are attached to you.  When you're awake, you are always alert and looking around at what's going on.  And, Lord have mercy, you are the squirmiest little thing.  I'm guessing this means you will be very active when you start crawling and walking???  Daddy and I are trying to prepare ourselves.

Happy two months to the little boy that makes our world go 'round.  We love you more than you will ever know.

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Sunny days, chasing the clouds away...

I give today's weather a perfect 10.  And yesterday's for that matter.  It. is. awesome.  There's something almost magical to me about when the seasons change from summer to fall and winter to spring.  And those first few days of change when the weather is so absolutely beautiful that you can't help but spend time outside...perfection. 

So today, we decided to have some tummy time in the backyard.  We also read a book, sang some songs, and played fetch with Dixie.  Here are a few pics.

Instead of lifting his head up, Weston likes to push with his legs and lift his little booty in the air.  :)

I couldn't get a smile out of him...I think he was distracted by all the new sights and sounds.

I cannot get enough of the eyelashes.

Or this face.

"Enough pictures mom."

What a great day.  Come to think of it, everyday I get to spend with my baby boy is a great day.  But we prefer them with perfect weather. :)

What's up doc?

One health baby...that's what's up! 

Today was our two-month checkup and first round of vaccinations.  Ugh.  But our little guy was a super trooper (as long as we ignore one small hissy fit when we first arrived...and by small I mean so loud I could barely hear what the nurse was saying) and only cried for a few seconds after his shots.  Plus J took a long lunch break so he could go with us which means he got to hold Weston while he got poked and I didn't even have to watch.  Thanks daddy!

Weston now weighs 11 lbs. 10 oz. (55th percentile) and is 23.8 inches long (80th percentile).  Our baby is growing so fast!  The doctor says he's doing great and even told us...wait for it..."You're doing an awesome job."  Sigh...sometimes you just need someone to say it out loud...even if you're not entirely sure it's true. :)



On our way to the doc!  Could I love this little punkin' any more?  Doubtful.



Battle scars.

Hangin' out with big sister makes everything better...Dixie's not so sure. 
(I'm loving the little jelly rolls on his legs!)

Bonus:  Brother man has slept like a champ all afternoon.  And check out those eyelashes.  I die.

Does anything feel better than knowing your child is healthy and happy?  I'm thinking no...so grateful.

Around the house

We've finally gotten semi-settled into a routine around here...ya' know, now that I only have two weeks until I go back to work (sniff, sniff) and it all gets shot to heck again.  I'm very hesitant to even put this in print because as soon as I say he will behave a certain way, the complete opposite happens...but, Weston's been pretty good about napping during the day and sleeping for several hours at night.  Thank you Jesus.  The crying marathons are getting fewer and further between and, most of the time, we can figure out how to make them stop.  So, right now I'm feeling pretty lucky and blessed because, for the most part, we have a happy, healthy baby.

Here are a few pics from around the house this week.

Sharp-dressed man

Male pattern baldness.  That full head of hair he was born with is slowly receding and being replaced by some nice peach fuzz. :)

This happy baby loves bathtime.  It's always a prime chance to pee on mom and to stare at himself in the mirror. 

Baby's best friend

We celebrated my grandmother's 97th birthday with family this weekend.  We ate lots of food and Weston got passed around and played attention hog. 

Tomorrow we're off to the doctor for two-month shots and this girl is having severe anxiety about my sweet baby getting stabbed with a needle.  I'm gonna say there's about a 100% chance we will both leave in tears.  Here's hoping all goes well.